Why Toxic People are never Invited.

“A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip seperates close friends.” Proverbs 16:28.

In our social interactions, we often surround ourselves with individuals who bring joy, support, and positivity into our lives. However, there are instances when we encounter toxic individuals who possess destructive behaviours and attitudes. These individuals consistently drain our emotional energy, undermine our self-esteem, and hinder personal growth. Consequently, people tend to avoid inviting or being around toxic individuals due to the detrimental impact they have on our overall well-being. In this commentary I want to explore why people refrain from inviting or being around toxic individuals.

1. Emotional Exhaustion:

One of the primary reasons people avoid toxic individuals is the emotional exhaustion they experience when interacting with them. They are emotional vampires draining the life out of people. Toxic individuals often thrive on drama, negativity, and conflict, leaving those around them feeling emotionally fatigued. Constant exposure to their toxic behaviour can lead to increased stress levels, anxiety, and a general sense of unhappiness. Consequently, people choose to distance themselves from toxic individuals to preserve their emotional well-being. And they are just really unlikeable people. They are delusional, as they never accept they are the problem. How can everybody else be wrong and only you are right? This sense of self-righteousness and entitlement is annoying and one of the many reasons they are never invited because they are chaotic and exasperating.

For example, imagine a workplace environment where a toxic colleague consistently spreads rumors, belittles others, and creates a hostile atmosphere. Over time, colleagues may feel drained and emotionally exhausted due to the constant negativity, leading them to avoid inviting or interacting with the toxic individual. When you call them out on their toxic behaviour they are suddenly the victim, they take no accountability for their behaviour. Never for a moment thinking, ‘maybe it’s me’. One finger pointing at everyone but 4 fingers pointing back at you! They lack emotional intelligence, self-awareness and communication skills.

2. Diminished Self-esteem:

Toxic individuals are extremely mean-spirited people and possess a knack for belittling others and undermining their self-esteem. They often criticize, manipulate, and engage in passive-aggressive behaviour, leaving their victims feeling inadequate and unworthy. Constant exposure to such toxicity erodes self-confidence, leading individuals to distance themselves from those who consistently bring them down. They end up never being invited to functions or events because of this behaviour; nobody wants to be around them, and nobody wants to have them around. So, they’re not invited to parties, social gatherings, cookouts, barbecues, they are not even invited to the toilets (ladies, you know what I mean!)

For instance, consider a toxic friend who habitually compares their achievements to yours, highlighting your failures while downplaying your successes. Over time, this toxic behaviour chips away at your self-esteem, making it difficult to invite or be around such an individual who consistently undermines your self-worth.

3. Hindered Personal Growth:

Toxic individuals hinder personal growth by discouraging and sabotaging the aspirations of those around them. They often exhibit envy, resentment, and a refusal to support others’ goals and dreams. Being around such individuals stifles personal development, as they discourage risk-taking, innovation, and the pursuit of new opportunities.

For instance, imagine having a toxic partner who constantly diminishes your ambitions and dreams, urging you to settle for mediocrity. This toxic influence can hinder your personal growth and prevent you from taking necessary steps towards achieving your goals. Thus, to foster personal growth and maximize potential, individuals opt to avoid toxic people. In conclusion, people consciously refrain from inviting or being around toxic individuals due to the negative impact they have on emotional well-being, self-esteem, and personal growth. Toxic behaviour drains individuals emotionally, leaving them exhausted and unhappy. Additionally, toxic individuals undermine the self-esteem of those around them, causing feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness. Moreover, toxic people hinder personal growth by discouraging aspirations and sabotaging opportunities for development. To foster a fulfilling and harmonious life, it is crucial to surround oneself with individuals who bring positivity, support, and encouragement. By distancing ourselves from toxic individuals, we can protect our emotional well-being and mental health, nurture our self-esteem, and create an environment conducive to personal growth and overall happiness.

The Narcissist will fall into his own trap.

Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by a grandiose sense of self-importance, a need for excessive admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. Narcissists often manipulate and exploit those around them for their own gain. In the Bible, there are numerous examples of individuals who fell victim to the trap set by the narcissist, only to have the narcissist fall into the same trap themselves.
The trap that the narcissist sets for their victim ultimately ensnares themselves. We will explore this with biblical examples of such occurrences, illustrating how the narcissist’s own actions lead to their downfall. All the manipulative tactics will eventually lead to their downfall. All the gaslighting, projection, deception, smear campaign will lead to their undoing. They will not escape. That is why revenge is never the answer, because the Bible says, “Vengeance is mine, says the Lord I will repay.” I have never believed in revenge, I believe that God will ultimately dish out to evil people their just desserts, he will exact the perfect repayment for all their wicked endeavours. Healing, recovery and success in your plans and pursuits is the best payback because you have proved to the narcissist that you can achieve and be a total success without them.

Attribution to Sweet Publishing / FreeBibleimages.org.

One biblical example of the trap set by the narcissist backfiring is the story of Haman in the Book of Esther. Haman, a high-ranking official in the Persian empire, sought to destroy the Jewish people out of his own pride and arrogance. Personally, I think he was a psychopath, but anyway. He built gallows to hang Mordecai, a Jewish man who refused to bow down to him. However, Haman’s plan ultimately led to his own downfall. Queen Esther, who was also a victim of Haman’s narcissism, exposed his evil intentions to the king. As a result, Haman was hanged on the very gallows he had prepared for Mordecai. Proverbs 26:27 echoes this sentiment, stating, “Whoever digs a pit will fall into it; if someone rolls a stone, it will roll back on them.”
In fact, there are a few scriptures in the Bible referring to this very same thing. God takes this very seriously and has given many warnings to people in His Word.
“Let destruction come upon him unexpectedly, And let his net that he has hidden catch himself; Into that very destruction let him fall.” Psalms‬ ‭35‬:‭8‬ ‭NKJV.‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬
“He has dug a pit and hollowed it out, And has fallen into the [very] pit which he made [as a trap].“ Psalms‬ ‭7‬:‭15‬ ‭AMP.‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬
“He who leads the upright astray on an evil path will himself fall into his own pit, But the blameless will inherit good.” Proverbs‬ ‭28‬:‭10‬ ‭AMP.‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬.‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬
These are just some of the many verses in the Bible. If narcissists thinks they will get away with their toxic behaviour, they won’t. It may not happen immediately, it may take some time, but it will surely happen. If you are wicked to people, you are going to receive evil back. It is a universal law; it applies to everyone. Seed time and harvest. What you sow, you will eventually reap.

Another biblical example of the narcissist falling into their own trap is the story of Absalom in the Book of 2 Samuel. Absalom, the son of King David, rebelled against his father in a quest for power and control. He manipulated the people of Israel to turn against King David and ultimately sought to overthrow him. However, Absalom’s own arrogance and pride led to his downfall. In the battle that ensued, Absalom was caught in a tree by his own long hair and was killed by Joab, one of David’s commanders. This serves as a reminder of Galatians 6:7, which states, “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” You sow wickedness, you reap wickedness. You sow evil, you reap evil.
Finally, the trap that the narcissist sets for their victim often leads to their own demise. Biblical examples such as the stories of Haman and Absalom serve as cautionary tales of the consequences of pride, manipulation, and exploitation. As Proverbs 11:5 states, “The righteousness of the blameless makes their paths straight, but the wicked are brought down by their own wickedness.” Ultimately, the narcissist’s own actions will lead to their downfall, as they become ensnared in the very trap they set for others. “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.“ Galatians‬ ‭6‬:‭7‬ ‭NKJV.‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

Why Narcissists are Emotional Vampires.

Narcissists are individuals who possess an exaggerated sense of self-importance and an insatiable desire for attention and admiration. They are often described as emotional vampires, draining the energy and emotions of those around them. Today, I want to explore the reasons why narcissists can be considered emotional vampires, analyzing their behaviours and their impact on others.
Emotional vampires are individuals who constantly seek attention, validation, and emotional energy from others. They drain the emotional well-being of those around them, leaving them feeling depleted and exhausted. Narcissists fit this description perfectly, as they possess an excessive need for admiration and validation, often at the expense of others. I want to delve into the key characteristics and behaviours of narcissists, that prove that they are indeed emotional vampires.

1. Constant need for attention and validation:
   Narcissists constantly seek attention and validation to feed their fragile self-esteem. They have an insatiable desire for admiration and will go to great lengths to ensure they are the centre of attention. This need for constant validation can be draining for those around them, as they are expected to constantly feed the narcissist’s ego. For example, a narcissistic partner may demand constant compliments and reassurance, leaving their significant other emotionally depleted.
2. Self-centeredness and lack of empathy:
   One of the defining characteristics of narcissists is their extreme self-centeredness. They prioritize their own needs and desires above all else, often disregarding the feelings and emotions of others. This lack of empathy allows them to manipulate and exploit those around them, draining their emotional energy. For instance, a narcissistic boss may constantly demand attention and praise from their employees, leaving them feeling emotionally exhausted and undervalued.

3. Manipulation and gaslighting:
Narcissists are skilled manipulators who use psychological tactics, such as gaslighting, to control and dominate others. Gaslighting involves distorting the truth or denying reality to make the victim doubt their own perception of events. This manipulation can be emotionally draining, as the victim is left feeling confused, invalidated, and emotionally weakened. A narcissistic friend, for instance, may twist conversations and events to make themselves the victim and their friend feel guilty for their own emotions.

In conclusion, narcissists can be accurately described as emotional vampires due to their self-centeredness, constant need for attention and validation, and their manipulative behaviours. They drain the emotional energy of those around them, leaving their victims feeling depleted and emotionally exhausted. Recognizing the signs of narcissism and setting boundaries is crucial in protecting oneself from the emotional drain caused by these individuals.